I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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