woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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