I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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