Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
