Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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