love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
