I didn't shave. On purpose
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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