It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sext me about skeletons
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
