it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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