Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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