peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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