it was like eating out sand paper
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
