i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My balls are so social today.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
