I want to make a zoo with you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
