i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
