My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
