What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
