i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
