Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Panties = found
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
