I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
