Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
