Whod you bang
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
