So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
