so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
