dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
