You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
