I intend to get homeless drunk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
