I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
