Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
