What a fucking waste of an outfit
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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