Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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