Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
