and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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