i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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