You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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