i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
