i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
