I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
