brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
