Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
