I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
