Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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