I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
