ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry about my life...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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