I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
