Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
