That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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