he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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