so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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