there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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