I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
