she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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